Hi Diary,
Here I am writing after
days. I wish if you could give me a big hug. Things are no longer normal since
morning… the jinx of usual troubling thoughts in my mind and complications of
life is broken. Our wedding card, Jaya weds Keshav written with golden emboss,
wedding between Jaya, a girl from small town, average looking, extrovert,
college lecturer and Keshav tall, handsome
(very very!!), introvert city boy working in private firm. Two opposite people
vowed together to be each other’s companion for lifetime…The cacophony of
excited relatives, all memories with tiny details still afresh in front of my
eyes... How can I forget it?
I was very happy on our wedding day … I knew he is little shy and I thought with time he would be okay, would make attempts to bring in more understanding as ours was an arranged marriage. But he doesn’t try. It’s me always. I used to do all the talking and mingling and he only used to sit and smile… one mystery man!! His thoughts and feelings… who knew? He never expressed. Sorry, I can’t read minds. No doubt he is reverent and caring but you know since our marriage he hasn’t spoken a word of appreciation nor has he taken me out. I know I am not one in a million girl, I can’t cook properly, nor do I have a Sridevi smile, but still he could be little generous, I am his wife. It’s obvious I grew sad within. And with passing days, all nagging thoughts, troubling questions grew stronger. I am into wrong relationship? Is he gay? Why did he marry me after all? A series of events have happened today I have finally got answers to many of my questions… Let me take you to the beginning.
Today morning I was doomed as usual thinking (Yes! I was in my terribly thinking mode) if he isn’t happy why can’t he tell me? We have whole life. Mom says I should give him time… arree…Why to take forward a relation which has no substance? Am I being silly? I should ask him directly… I will… Arranged marriages are horrible? I think my friends from college were right. But he isn’t bad. But he isn’t good. Engrossed in miserable confusing, puzzling emotions I was preparing breakfast and I don’t know what happened next… only thing I remember was I found myself on bed. My mother in law was sitting next to me smiling. She asked about my well-being, gave a glass of juice and handed over a note to me and walked out of the room. My heart grew weak. I unfolded the single piece of paper, my pulses were soaring high and my mind had stopped thinking. It read,
You know diary, what I found there? There was a beautiful Platinum necklace, it has a lovely pendant with dimond in centre... Such a beautiful white shining marvel (I am wearing it) its shine reflected the love of Keshav, pure, flawless, beautiful, one of it's kind… embracing me (will soon paste its photo!!!). I was being so stupid all the time. Just 15 days. How could I grow soooo dumb…? Oh! right... I have always been like this... I was like C’mon Jaya. It was you who was complicating things in your head. Why do you think so much, girl!!! He is shy but so genuine... Rare like platinum (30 times more rare than gold!!! White Gold). The platinum necklace is token of his love. Witness of our first step together towards a new beginning. Today is our Platinum day of Love... Yes! I felt the most magical feeling… feeling of being loved… Thank you God!! Oh! I forgot to tell you there was a card also which is pasted below. It’s lovely.
I was very happy on our wedding day … I knew he is little shy and I thought with time he would be okay, would make attempts to bring in more understanding as ours was an arranged marriage. But he doesn’t try. It’s me always. I used to do all the talking and mingling and he only used to sit and smile… one mystery man!! His thoughts and feelings… who knew? He never expressed. Sorry, I can’t read minds. No doubt he is reverent and caring but you know since our marriage he hasn’t spoken a word of appreciation nor has he taken me out. I know I am not one in a million girl, I can’t cook properly, nor do I have a Sridevi smile, but still he could be little generous, I am his wife. It’s obvious I grew sad within. And with passing days, all nagging thoughts, troubling questions grew stronger. I am into wrong relationship? Is he gay? Why did he marry me after all? A series of events have happened today I have finally got answers to many of my questions… Let me take you to the beginning.
Today morning I was doomed as usual thinking (Yes! I was in my terribly thinking mode) if he isn’t happy why can’t he tell me? We have whole life. Mom says I should give him time… arree…Why to take forward a relation which has no substance? Am I being silly? I should ask him directly… I will… Arranged marriages are horrible? I think my friends from college were right. But he isn’t bad. But he isn’t good. Engrossed in miserable confusing, puzzling emotions I was preparing breakfast and I don’t know what happened next… only thing I remember was I found myself on bed. My mother in law was sitting next to me smiling. She asked about my well-being, gave a glass of juice and handed over a note to me and walked out of the room. My heart grew weak. I unfolded the single piece of paper, my pulses were soaring high and my mind had stopped thinking. It read,
” You collapsed on kitchen floor in morning. I think you have been stressing yourself too much. Give yourself little break. I know I have not been able to give you time. I am thoughtless introvert. I can’t so I write-The day you stepped into my life, you changed it into something so beautiful and meaningful. You are just so amazing to have around. I cannot stop myself from telling you, how much you mean to me. I love you so much Jaya. You are a wonderful girl I am glad I married you. Your chirpy nature has added spark into my life. Though it’s been only a 15 days into marriage but I am already addicted to your non-stop Buk-Buk. I have got something beautiful for my stunning wife. It’s kept near our wedding photograph on table. I have gone to call doctor. Take care. Keshav. ”
You know diary, what I found there? There was a beautiful Platinum necklace, it has a lovely pendant with dimond in centre... Such a beautiful white shining marvel (I am wearing it) its shine reflected the love of Keshav, pure, flawless, beautiful, one of it's kind… embracing me (will soon paste its photo!!!). I was being so stupid all the time. Just 15 days. How could I grow soooo dumb…? Oh! right... I have always been like this... I was like C’mon Jaya. It was you who was complicating things in your head. Why do you think so much, girl!!! He is shy but so genuine... Rare like platinum (30 times more rare than gold!!! White Gold). The platinum necklace is token of his love. Witness of our first step together towards a new beginning. Today is our Platinum day of Love... Yes! I felt the most magical feeling… feeling of being loved… Thank you God!! Oh! I forgot to tell you there was a card also which is pasted below. It’s lovely.
I realised... I am imperfect.
He is imperfect. But together we are perfect. He completes me. Thank You
Keshav. I feel lucky.
Okay!! We are going for dinner. Let me get ready. Bye.... so excited :) :)
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